I'm domestic...who knew?

As of late, I've been thrice accused of being quaintly domestic. I say accused because for most of my life I would have taken offense to this and, in all likelihood, still do. Do I bake things from scratch? Yes. Do I wear an apron while doing so? You bet your bottom dollar. Do I try to keep the house clean? I do; but do I like cleaning? Hardly. Not a day goes by where I don't wish for my home to clean itself or for a cleaning lady to show herself at my front door and scrub the hardwood floors until she can see her reflection in them. What a glorious day that would be. When I maintained jobs prior to the arrival of the Little Nugget, I took my jobs seriously and this is no different. Since I’ve taken a hiatus from the mainstream working world, my current jobs include child rearing, nutritionist and chef, teacher, maintainer of home decor and health provider, just to name a few. Why not do those jobs well, right? This is what I am talking about!

Now, I will say that last week the Husband came home in the middle of the day completely unannounced (Who authorized this? Not I, my friends, not I.). Anywho, when he breezed in the door, I was sitting on the couch in my stretchy pants, watching HGTV while finishing my lunch consisting of mostly grapes. The Husband took in the scene and announced that if this was what staying at home looked like, he was all about it. Immediately, I proceeded to inform him that this was NOT the norm and I'd already fed the Little Nugget breakfast, dressed in clothing appropriate to be seen in by members of the community, taken the Little Nugget to music class, fed him lunch, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floors, changed into stretchy pants because I intended on working out (which these days, I'm counting the intention as a medium calorie burn) and sent some emails and it was only 1 o'clock. After I ranted through the list I may have said something about sticking that in his businessman coffer but my recollection about that is fairly foggy.

With all of that said, I spent most of yesterday baking a most delicious apple pie from the Houston Junior League cookbook, Peace Meals, for my bimonthly Dinner Club. There I was, the picture of modern domesticity in my maternity skinny jeans (not to worry, the irony of a maternity skinny jean is not lost on me. And while nothing but my ankles is remotely svelte these days, I have to highlight my smallest--for the time being--feature) and turtle neck with a apron and knit slippers, listening to Pandora on the iPad while slicing apples and putting in "pinches" of this or that. I made a pie once before in my life and am pretty sure I used pre-made crust but it was not a memorable pie and I blame that on the pie crust, not the fact that in all likelihood, I probably botched the recipe. Anywho, the Big as Texas Apple Brandy pie is quite a project but it is delicious and would make a most lovely centerpiece on your Thanksgiving dessert table. Warning: if you are trying to watch your figure during this holiday season then proceed no further. The very reading of this recipe will cause you to have to log an extra 30 minutes on the Elliptical machine. Additionally, do not serve to your Uncle Howie who is celebrating 12 years sober this Thanksgiving. He will remove from his will and curse your name while dialing up his sponsor. With that said I present to you the Big as Texas Brandy Apple Pie recipe:

Crust
3 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 pinch mace (who has this in their kitchen? Use allspice instead)
1 1/4 cups butter
1/2 cup shortening
1/4 cup brandy, chilled
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1 egg

Filling
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 1/2 tbsp cornstarch
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp allspice
4 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced (I peeled them, then cored them, then cut them in fourths and sliced the fourths pretty thinly)
4 Granny Smith apples, peeled, coded, and thinly sliced (I peeled them, then cored them, then cut them in fourths and sliced the fourths pretty thinly)
1/4 cup brandy
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1 tbsp butter, cut into small pieces
1 egg yolk

Crust:
1. In a large bowl, sift flours, sugar, salt, baking powder and mace (allspice).
2. Cut in butter and shortening with a pastry blender until pea-sized clumps form (I didn't even know what a pastry blender was but lo and behold I had one! It came with my electric hand mixer and the Little Nugget loves playing with it which is why I found it under the island. Additionally, I’d recommend letting the butter soften a bit otherwise the blender will send the flour flying...not that that happened to me...)
3. In a small bowl, whisk together the brandy, vanilla and egg.
4. Pour the egg mixture into the flour mixture and blend together with a fork until the mixture is moist and holds together.
5. Turn the dough out onto work surface and divide into two halves.
6. Sprinkle with flour and sugar to coat.
7. Place each half on a piece of plastic wrap and flatten dough to form two discs. Wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour before baking (Make the dough the day before and let it hang out in the refrigerator overnight).

Filling
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Remove dough from refrigerator and let warm to room temperature.
3. Butter and flour a 12 inch pie plate and set aside.
4. In a medium bowl, sift together the sugars, flour, cornstarch, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and allspice
5. Put apple slices in a large bowl.
6. In a small bowl, mix brandy and vanilla. Pour mixture over apples.
7. Add three fourths of the flour mixture to the apples and toss to combine.
8. Place a sheet of parchment paper on a work surface and sprinkle with enough flour and sugar to coat lightly (you can also use plastic wrap but parchment paper works like a dream).
9. Place one disc of dough on parchment and place another piece of parchment on top. Roll out the dough between the parchment to form a 14-inch circle.
10. Peel off top layer of parchment paper and flip dough over the prepared pie plate.
11. Peel off remaining layer of parchment and trim edges of dough to one inch; reserve trimmings.
12. Sprinkle the remaining flour mixture into the bottom of the pastry lined pie plate and then fill pie plate with apple mixture, mounding the apples in the center and dot with butter.
13. Roll out the second disc of dough between the parchment and follow same process as above.
14. Lay the dough over the apples and cut 3-4 vents.
15. Trim edges to one inch and seal by crimping the edges.
16. Brush the top of the pie with the reserved egg yolk and, if desired, attach decorate shapes made with crust trimmings (roll out trimmings and use a cookie cutter to make shapes).
17. Sprinkle the top with sugar.
18. Place pie on a baking sheet to catch any overflow (and there will be overflow) during baking.
19. Loosely cover pie with aluminum foil.
20. Bake for 1 hour.
21. Reduce oven temperature to 375 degrees and continue baking for 50 minutes.
22. Remove aluminum foil and bake for additional 10 minutes so pie turns golden brown.
23. Serve warm with ice cream and eat your heart out!