I want my phosphates back

For the most part, I am a generally agreeable person. I'm optimistic and rarely get worked up but lately there have been a few things that just burn my cheese and I'm not one bit happy about it (I mean burnt cheese is the worst...the smell...the terrible feelings of loss you must endure when learning your cheesy treat has ridden on past the point of edibility. It's just a sad state of affairs anyway you turn it).

At the top of my cheese burning list right now is the removal of significant levels of phosphates from dishwasher detergent. I know what you're thinking: "Dishwasher detergent? Shouldn't you be more concerned with bigger issues like rogue nations and nuclear weapon proliferation, the rising deficit or the resurgence of parachute pants?" And yes, I will say to you that I am concerned about all of these things but I deal with the consequences of phosphate-free (or trace amounts) dishwasher detergent on a daily basis, and rogue nations more on a thrice monthly basis, so the dishwasher detergent is top of mind; therefore, it is at the top of my "things that burn my cheese" list.

Earlier this year, 17 states imposed laws reducing the amount of phosphates allowed in dishwasher detergent because they do all kinds of damage to lakes, streams and other water holes (check out a September New York Times article about this very subject). So, rather than making some dishwasher detergents with regular phosphate levels to sell in the other 33 phosphate-loving states, many companies decided to reduce the phosphate levels to trace amounts in their entire dishwasher detergent lines. Phosphates, while allegedly wretched for the environment, are simply splendid in the dishwasher. They enable your dishes to repel other food particles swirling around the dishwasher so they come out clean, shiny and spot-free. Clean, shiny AND spot-free dishes? What more could a girl ask for? Perhaps a dishwasher that loads and unloads itself? Now, I'm just being greedy.

Back to the dishwasher detergent. A few months ago, I noticed all of our dishes and glasses coming out of the dishwasher about as dirty as they went in but the food was now cemented onto the plates because they had gone through the baking or heating cycle which meant I had to wash them by hand when they came out of the dishwasher and I started getting dishpan hands and my delicate mits just couldn't handle it. I was gripping about my broken down dishwasher over Christmas when my brother-in-law tipped me off on the phosphate conspiracy that had clearly been plotted against me. I did some research and discovered I was not alone. I even considered starting a "bring back the phosphates" fan page on The Facebook. Although I felt relief that our dishwasher did not need to be replaced, I'm still generally disgruntled. My dishes are still dirty and I still have to wash them after removing them from the dishwasher which goes against everything I believe. A dishwasher is supposed to wash dishes not just splash some hot water on them and call it a day. I want my phosphates back!

Now, don't get me wrong: I love the environment. While I don't drive a Prius or plant an abundance of trees I do recycle, use reusable grocery bags, combine car trips and drink from a stainless steel water bottle. I'm doing my part but I need my dishes to be clean with very little effort from me. So, dishwasher detergent scientists, if you are reading this, get back to work and formulate a rockin' dishwasher detergent that will blast food particles from my plates and leave them as pretty as a picture. Oh, and thank you for reading my blog.

One more thing that has really burned my cheese lately is the cleanliness or, quite frankly, the disgusting dirtiness of our hardwood floors. I'm quite certain I've tried every wood floor cleaning product on the market and my floors only seems to attract more dirt and grim. I ask everyone I know how they keep their floors clean and I've been told on more than one occasion that I need to use vinegar and water. I did and now my floors are streaky and cloudy. Then I was told that I was going about it all wrong: I needed to use vinegar and water and apply it by hand with a towel. Let me assure you of one thing:

Getting down on my hands and knees to scrub the floors in my current condition (see picture to left), or any condition for that matter, will happen approximately... NEVER. I mean seriously.

There has to be another way and right now, the only way I see is to pay a professional. He/she can come in, clean the floors until I can see my reflection in them and then tell me the secret to their wood floor whispering ways. Consider it done.

On a completely non-cheese burning note, I am 100 percent in love with the Thymes Frasier Fir candle I picked up at my favorite local home and garden center yesterday. It smells like Christmas and nature all wrapped in one and I contend my home has never smelled more delightful. I bought two and they were on sale to boot! I admit that even though they were half-price, they were still $15 each (or $5.99 if the Husband is reading this) but I promise you, they are worth every single cent. You can also find them online on the Thymes website (although these are not on sale). I guarantee that this candle would mask the smell of burnt cheese any day of the week.