Slurpees and pegging your jeans

I retrieved the latest Real Simple (RS) magazine from my mailbox yesterday and was excited to cozy up with the latest RS-identified trends and glean other information I didn't know I needed to know until I read it. Now, RS is my kind of magazine these days. It doesn't boast scandalous taglines on the cover like: "So you made out with your boss? No problem!" or "What does your underwear say about you?" or "107 New ways to seduce your man TONIGHT!" (seriously...can there really be 107, let alone 7, "new" things that those magazines haven't covered in previous installments?) or any other equally mortifying large print title you might find among the saucier mags. I can read Real Simple in a public place without wondering if the guy across from me at the airport really wonders if I made out with my boss or has any thoughts about my under pinnings.

My mag of choice includes items I find interesting like mini home improvement projects or crafty ideas, home decor, fashion articles, reviews on the best tooth whitening toothpaste, recipes, how to fashionably organize one's home, cleaning product reviews, and those human interest stories that rip your heart out and break it to pieces. Upon review, a few of those items sound hardly more interesting than dry toast but what can I say? On occasion, I've been known to be a fan of dry toast.

Back to the crux of this post... I was only a few pages into the mag when I came upon a most glorious piece of information: the 7-11 Slurpee is celebrating its 44th anniversary in July. Now, this is cause for celebration. In fact, I will be celebrating this special 44th anniversary much the same as I celebrated the 43rd and most of months in between by visiting my local 7-11 frequently and forking over the $1.39 for a refreshing, and always appropriate, Coca-cola Slurpee. In fact, participating 7-11's will be giving away free 11 oz. Slurpees in honor of this momentous occasion on July 11 (how fitting). Let us all take pause to think about what the Slurpee has meant to us through the years. Let us raise our coned cups with spoon straws to 44 more years.

This post is going to make a hard right down the road of things that shouldn't be, but apparently are. Fresh from my 44th Slurpee anniversary high, I came to the "guide to fashion" page where 1/4 of the page was devoted to step by step instructions on how to peg one's jeans. And the blurb was titled: Cuff your jeans stylishly. Stylishly? You've got to be kidding. Yes, when I pegged my jeans in 1992 when I was in the seventh grade it was indeed stylish but I'd like to think as a society, we've progressed stylistically and my horrible recollections of middle school attire could remain safely in the past. It is 2010, my friends, and I'm proud to say that I know now what I wish I'd known back then: pegging is ridiculous and does no one any favors.

The pegging article made me think of several other fashion abominations from my tragically fashioned youth that I do not want to see make a come back including:

1. Hypercolor: do we really need a blatant illustration of where people sweat? No thanks.

2. Dropped-waist jeans with pleats

3. Acid wash

4. Bangs, half teased backwards and half teased forwards

5. Pants with skirts attached. To this very day, I cringe when I think that not only did I own the skant (skirt-pants), I owned two pairs. And I loved them.